


leave behind your heartache, cast away

by pettigrace



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Arrowverse Crossover, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Character Death, Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Death, Elseworlds Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Other, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earth, Post-Elseworlds Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Prediction for the next Crossover, Protective Oliver Queen, Relationship Study, Sad Ending, Self-Sacrifice, superfriends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace
Summary: “I am collecting a debt.” Novu states without much preamble.“A debt?” Kara repeats. Her eyes flicker from Novu to Oliver, the way he looks down to the ground as soon as they meet his. She can feel her stomach sink before she even really understands.(a prediction for Crisis on Infinite Earths)





	leave behind your heartache, cast away

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prediction for what I expect to happen after 2019's Arrowverse Crossover; basically it's the aftermath of Elseworlds. I have no idea of the Crisis on Infinite Earths storyline, so it's only mentioned briefly. This isn't a story about that but about what happens next.
> 
> The title is from Imagine Dragons' "Natural". The "cast away" refers to Oliver, of course.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this despite its grim content!

“Oliver Queen.”

It’s a voice neither of them has heard in a while, barely above the normal speaking volume even over the sounds of the rest of the bar - Kara is sure that if it weren’t for her enhanced hearing, she wouldn’t have recognized it. It goes beyond human ears, except for the human it is directed at, she imagines. And right now it’s calling for Oliver, and Oliver alone.

“It’s time to make good on your promise, Green Arrow.” The voice says again, deep and calm and luring Oliver into its direction.

She can her friend tense up, his grip on his glass stiffen as he freezes for a moment. Kara hadn’t been able to make out where the voice had come from, feeling like it comes from right inside her head already, seemingly nonexistent for everyone else in the bar - Barry included -, but it seems like Oliver _knows_. Maybe Mar Novu planted some images into his mind, feeding him information as to where he’s waiting.

Waiting. For Oliver. And Oliver alone.

Thinking back to the last time they’ve seen him - _faced_ him - that sure isn’t a good thing to happen. And what _promise_ is he talking about? What did Oliver do?

There’s a soft gulp, one he’s trying to hide, coming from Oliver as he sets down his glass. It’s a brief moment, and Kara is sure that if Barry weren’t so distracted by how _they’ve just saved not just_ one _but_ multiple _earths_ , he would have caught it. As well as the way Oliver eyes them both for a split second before pushing himself off his chair and announcing, “I need to get some air.”

Kara knows that he’s had years and years to master flawless lying, but she’s still surprised that if it weren’t for her hearing of Novu’s message, she wouldn’t have been able to tell that he wasn’t telling the truth. His heartbeat is regular even over the small - to the human eye invisible - signs of distraught in the way he carries himself, voice even and casual like he’s really just stating something.

Kara waits until he’s reached the door before she leans closer to Barry. He looks so oblivious to everything beyond the happiness over their most recent win, so… _carefree_ that it almost breaks her heart to say the next words. But she knows she has to - the next big problem is already on the doorstep; _literally_ , in the form of Oliver.

“Barry,” she hisses, “something is up.” There’s no time to wait for him to really shake off the haze of celebration - whatever promise Novu was speaking about… She doesn’t like imagining Oliver alone with him. Just thinking about the kind of power that Novu has - he could be doing anything and they would be none the wiser.

Barry blinks a few times and even though he doesn’t know just what she’s referring to, he sets down his bowl of fries and puts on a serious face, ready for anything. His eyes flicker to the door, apparently he’s immediately figured that it’s got to do with Oliver. “What is it?”

“Novu,” she rasps in reply. She’s already slit down from her stool, now merely leaning against it as if she’s about to leave any second - which she is. Whatever is going on, even _she_ can’t get any information on it now. No sounds from outside are reaching her ears, almost like they’ve both vanished from Earth. Which, thinking about the things the men have told her about Novu his realm, may be very possible. “He wants something from Oliver and--”

Barry doesn’t even let her finish. Within an instant he’s flashed out of the room (she can’t tell if it’s his worry or if he doesn’t care about his secret identity any more) and left her behind. Technically, Supergirl doesn’t exist on this Earth, so she has no problem with following him.

She’s not surprised to find the alley in front of the bar empty of him, but before she can decide to set off, too, he already comes to a stand next to her, panting slightly. With a look into his face she knows that it doesn’t come from the running. All of the excitement, the relief - it’s all gone. Instead, his eyes are wide in fear and worry. “No sign of him,” he says, his voice no more than a whisper.

In response, Kara lets her eyes scan the buildings around them with her x-ray vision. Maybe Novu doesn’t really move people to a different realm after all but just makes it _seem_ so. Maybe they aren’t _gone_ , just hidden. How quickly could he do such a thing? Because no matter what he showed to Oliver, no matter what that promise Oliver made is; he wouldn’t just go without a fight. Oliver wouldn’t let anyone decide about where he goes - he might let it look that way, but he certainly wouldn’t obey on anyone else’s terms. “I don’t see them either,” she states grudgingly.

It doesn’t take too long until Barry gives up pacing around the block; he lets out a frustrated noise before raising his voice to yell for Oliver. It’s a sign of desperation, Kara knows, because her friend definitely knows better than to draw attention to himself in regards of otherworldly things happening while he’s dressed in civil. (And yes, she’s speaking from experience.) But before she can shush him - and how would she do that? She doesn’t have any idea about what’s going on either, she’s feeling a prickle of tension drawn on her skin - there’s a flicker of energy she sees from the corner of her eyes.

They turn at the same time, taking in the sudden appearance of the two men only a few metres away. They appared out of thin air, undoubtedly transported magically.

As Kara expected, Barry enters fight mode as soon as he sets eyes on Novu. It’s something that she’d learnt about him pretty fast: He doesn’t _think_ when it comes to keeping his loved ones safe from imminent danger - just heads into the confrontation and wants to fight his way out.

“What are _you_ doing here?” He spats at Novu, either oblivious or not caring about the way Kara has grabbed onto his jacket to hold him back. She can feel him starting to vibrate, moving in place as he tries to haul forward, and she can just hope he won’t phase Through her hand - Rao knows what Novu would do if Barry attacked him.

Oliver stands next to Novu, tense - though Kara can’t tell if it’s because he’s surprised to see them or if it’s the whole situation. His face is guarded; again, there’s no sign of any abnormalities that Kara can sense.

“Mister Allen,” Novu says, nodding into Barry’s direction, slowly and slightly he turns his head a little bit to lock eyes with Kara. “Miss Zor-El.”

She’ll never get back to being used to that way of address.

“I am collecting a debt.” Novu states without much preamble. As vague as he is, Kara has to give him that - he doesn’t do big, unnecessary speeches. Still, that statement doesn’t mean it explains anything.

“A debt?” Kara repeats. Her eyes flicker from Novu to Oliver, the way he looks down to the ground as soon as they meet his. She can feel her stomach sink before she even really understands.

Barry hasn’t noticed. “We don’t _owe_ you anything!” He growls, trying again to leap forward.

Now Novu’s mouth opens slightly, almost as if he actually were surprised. “Oh, you don’t know.” He states - no amusement or question in his voice; the simple realization visible as he looks over at Oliver again. “It’s time to tell them.”

Oliver nods gravely, but quietly he says, “Thank you,” as if he’s been granted the opportunity of a lifetime, not what is basically an order.

Novu echoes the movement before he steps aside. If he were anyone else, Kara would think it’s a foolish action - the distance means he’s lost his hold over Oliver; if he wanted, this could be his opportunity to leave. But Mar Novu is a thinker, a calculator, and he understands the world better than anyone else whom Kara knows, all the while staying more objective than you could imagine at that rate. The fact that he doesn’t even expect Oliver to flee _frightens_ her more than she’d ever admit.

“Tell us what?” Barry spats, his eyes moving from Novu to Oliver and back again - and now Kara can see something beyond anger being written into them; there’s fear, too. Either he has already figured out what’s going on or he’s close.

In return, Oliver looks back at Novu, but he’s non-responsive to it. He doesn’t care about them, about how Oliver does it. He just waits until it’s done. It doesn’t fall into his hands.

It’s all Oliver’s now.

“Oliver?” Barry tries again and - he knows now. It’s in his voice, the way it breaks at the single word and gets stuck in his throat on the way out.

She can tell Oliver doesn’t want to, that there’s many things he’d rather do, of course, but can’t. He needs to do this. Slowly he raises his head and _finally_ faces Barry openly. There’s so much in this single look: sadness, guilt and, most of all, hurt. Now there truly isn’t any way left to misinterpret the situation.

“No.” Barry says, not more than a whisper and his hand flies to his mouth. “You can’t--”

“I had to.” Oliver answers. He sounds serious, and yet there’s something else in his words, too. Some kind of pleading, longing for understanding, something Kara has never heard from him. “I had to-- Otherwise you both would have died and I... I couldn’t let that happen, it wouldn’t have made _sense_ \--”

“Oliver,” Kara takes in a sharp breath, finally releasing Barry. “What did you _do_?” It’s a redundant question, she knows the answer already, but she doesn’t want to _believe_. It’s obvious what he refers to, given the components present: Novu, talking about _both_ of them dying - last year, when they rewrote reality again. Clark had been so sure that they _would_ die… now she understands why they didn’t. Of course it wasn’t luck.

Oliver stays silent, just steps closer. Calculated and heavy steps. But he’s almost let his guard down now.

“Oliver-- you… you can’t do this. Think of Felicity! Of your daughter!” Barry pleads, voice high and about to break again. He’s about to cry, Kara can tell without looking at him (it’s the same for her, her throat feels like there’s a giant stone buried in it)  - and maybe it’s for the better than she keeps glaring at Mar Novu, ahead and facing away from where her friend stands next to her, ripping part of his own heart out and placing it on his tongue right now. And his immediate pleading, the way his thought process went at once - it makes her remember: there was a time where Barry made the same choice; where he stepped into the Speed Force to ensure the safety of his loved ones and more, unsure if he’d ever return. Of course he knows which buttons to press.

It takes a moment for the words to hit. “Wait. _Daughter_?” She asks, finally catching Oliver’s eyes.

There’s sadness in them, of course there is, but the opposite, too. He’s smiling a bit as he nods. And his voice fits, too; it’s soft in his declaration, “Felicity knows.”

“Felicity--?!” Barry starts, but he cuts himself off, letting his arms fall to his sides as well. “Oh. That’s why she left.” He simply states.

Again, Oliver nods. This time the smile has been replaced by a sadder, a more bitter expression.

“You prepared this,” Barry says hollowly, lifting a hand to his mouth. In one sentence: He looks defeated. And Kara can tell it isn’t because Oliver did this, Oliver _planned_ this and kept it from them - no, it’s because of the finality of it all. Because if Oliver has already gone so far, dealt with Felicity knowing and leaving (Did they agree on it? Couldn’t she take it and left on her own terms?), then there’s no way they could persuade him to fight Novu once more, to try and regain his life. No, he’s made his decision.

And they all know it, including Novu who has been watching the whole scene with the most neutral look on his face. Now, however, he lifts his arm slowly, almost as if to make sure there’s not a single way they could miss that. “Say goodbye to your friends, Mr Queen,” his booming voice announces. “You have fulfilled--”

“--my duty. I know.” Oliver cuts in. It’s amazing, really, that even in such a situation he sounds like he’s about to roll his eyes.

In return, Novu looks… almost amused, Kara would say if she didn’t know better. But then again, that’s what it’s all about for such a being, isn’t it? Playing their games, torturing humans and enjoying how they struggle and fight. There’s been many times where people have compared Kryptonians to Gods. She doesn’t think that Novu is one, but given his powers… if that’s what they’re like, she’s glad that she isn’t one.

Still, despite all - despite his planning, his pretense of casualty, there’s an aura of uncertainty that hovers around Oliver right now. Watching him shoot quick glances to both Barry and to her, shifting his weight on his legs and biting his lip, Kara realizes another thing: He doesn’t want to say goodbye. Doesn’t even _know_ how to say goodbye. That’s why he’d tried to be stealthy, accepted this opportunity to vanish while they were distracted.

Now there’s no way to avoid it, and he’s _nervous_ and unsure about what to say.

Kara isn’t.

“Oliver,” she starts, taking in a deep breath. “I-- thank you. I don’t even know… There’s no words to describe just what you’re doing. And if anyone would know them, it should be me. Journalist and all.” She brings herself to smile softly.

Oliver does the same, a genuine but sad smile playing on his lips as he lets out a shaky laughter. In another situation, he would’ve been annoyed by the joke. “You truly are the most remarkable woman I know. Alien or not.”

“That’s the kind of stuff you save for your wife.”

He shrugs lightly. “On another Earth…”

Kara grimaces, knowing right away what he’s referring to. Given their current situation, it’s not too absurd to suddenly laugh about all that they’ve been through in the few times they’ve actually been face to face. The fact that somewhere out there Nazi versions of them were together seems random when a (more than) super-powered being forces one of them to give up his life. “Ugh, don’t remind me,” she laughs.

Considering what he’s about to do, Kara probably shouldn’t be surprised when he opens his arms for an embrace. And yet, she stops curtly - it speaks volumes about the finality of Oliver’s decision. Were he expecting to come back, he wouldn’t make himself appear this vulnerable. She’s hugged him before - once, years ago - but it isn’t comparable to this. Where it has been quick and light before, it’s tight and desperate now. Oliver’s arms wrap around her fierce when she steps into them, and she thinks that if she were an average human, a few ribs would get cracked. He might hold onto her stronger than she does in return.

“We’ll find a way to--” She starts despite knowing better, mumbling against where her head rests against his chest, but she knows he can hear it. Just as she can hear his immediate protest, cutting her off.

“No,” he says, “this is my decision.” His voice is soft, yet determined and _finally_ Kara can’t hold back her tears any more.

“Thank you,” she says again, firmly between her sobs as she steps back, even though it hurts in her throat to talk. Even through the veil of her own tears she can see them mirrored in Oliver’s eyes. He nods, just like a soldier would do - a _hero_ would do after doing what he thinks is right. Normal. (Which it isn’t.)

His eyes rest on her for another moment before he lets them flicker to the side and if she’s thought he looked sad (heartbroken) before, then she’s been wrong. Barry had been silent the whole time, the only things she heard of him were his heartbeat - even faster than usually - and the electricity summing through his veins; but when Oliver sees him, his face just… _falls_. It’s like he’s lost all power over his muscles, face loose and open. Just from seeing Barry’s expression. _God_ , Kara can’t bring herself to turn around.

“Barry…” He starts and takes a step around Kara and towards him. Slowly, as if he’s an animal that Oliver doesn’t want to scare away. “I’m--”

Suddenly, Barry bursts out, completely unlike his behaviour until just now. “There’s gotta be another way, Ollie. Something that I can do-- Go back and change things--”

“No.” Comes Mar Novu’s booming voice. A simple word and he’s got them all looking back at him. There’s nothing about him that indicates even the smallest amount of interest in their situation - he doesn’t care about any of them, Kara knows, but seeing him look like this? She can feel herself tense up without meaning to.

Apparently, Barry feels similarly. “You!” He yells, darting forward and pinning him against the next wall before either of them can react. “You’re _telling_ me you can rewrite all of reality and _still_ \-- Still we have to sacrifice _everything_ when you could have _prevented_ the whole thing from happening in the first place?”

Novu doesn’t even flinch, just lets himself be held in place and stares back into Barry’s eyes; something close to boredom speaking in his own. “There are certain things that the Earths’ inhabitants are responsible for. Things not to be meddled with.”

“But why us?” Barry wants to know. His fists close tighter around what he’s grabbed of Novu’s clothes as he pushes his back once more. “Why _Oliver_?”

“Mr Queen offered his life in exchange for yours and Miss Zor-El’s.” Novu explains, still not showing any emotions. He’s oblivious to the way Barry’s hands fall open and continues, “Without the three of you, the multiverse would have perished.”

“Bar--” Oliver grabs his arm and pulls him away as soon as Barry drops his head. He’s engulfed him in a hug in swift motion, pulling him close - maybe even closer - as he’s done with Kara before. If it weren’t for her hearing, she wouldn’t be able to make out what he says, she’s sure. “It was the only solution. Otherwise, the two of you--”

“What? We would have died? Like you’re _about to do_?” Barry spats, but the venom in his voice is gone now. He’s holding onto him, clinging almost like he’s lost all feeling in his legs. “How could you do this? When did you--”

“Last year,” Kara speaks up. Of course he’d done this last year - when was the last time that they’d all been together? She and Barry, they would have died trying to save the life when Deagan played with it if it weren’t for Oliver; she understands that. But how cruel is it that not only did Oliver have to make this choice, but to keep on living knowing that any day could be his last? Not in the way that humans usually deal with their mortality, but with something even more impulsive than his superhero life.

Barry’s thoughts must have drifted into the same direction because next he asks, “But-- Why did he wait for so long?” Apparently he doesn’t even want to address Novu any more. “Why not collect his prize right away?”

“This crisis needed me, too,” Oliver says calmly. Finally he leans back, placing his hands on Barry’s arms and looking into his face. “But the world needs you two for longer.”

“It needs you, too!” Barry answers, voice thick and heavy. “Oliver, you can’t possibly still think that--”

Oliver shakes his head. “No. But the thing is: I’m _human_. A regular human without any powers. There’s only so much I can do. You guys, though? You have so many possibilities-- Not to mention how _good_ you are.”

“You’re good, too.” Kara says. She wants to walk up to them, at least place a hand on his shoulder, make her point but… She had her moment. It’s time for Barry to say goodbye, to understand that there’s no way of preventing this. And it hurts her soul, to stand here and watch her friend crumble but at least she’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

Oliver looks back at her, giving her a tight smile. But he nods at last. “Thank you.”

Next to him, Barry shakes his head. “No,” he says. “No! I can’t let you do this. Oliver-- You _just_ got it. Your happiness. You can’t give it up-- Not for me, not--”

“Barry, I made my peace with it.” Oliver states finally. He’s looking back at Barry and Kara can tell-- she sees that finally it clicks for Barry. That he’s going to give up his fight. That these words, so raw and truthful coming from Oliver, that they’re what’s the gamechanger for Barry. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about it. I just didn’t know how… It’s not your fault.” He looks back at Kara. “Neither of you. It was my idea.”

There’s a moment where neither of them speaks. What else can they say? There’s nothing that could possibly fit; they won’t stop Oliver, not any more. Not that they ever had the chance. And then, suddenly, life comes back into Barry. He pulls Oliver into him again, throwing himself at the older and loses it. Kara can’t bear watching it.

“It’s alright,” Oliver tells him again, rubbing against his back. “I-- You know I’m proud of you, yeah? You’ve-- _God_ , Barry. You’ve come so far. You’re the best man I know and… you’re my hero.”

It only makes Barry cry harder, coughing mixing into his sobs. He clutches onto Oliver, holds onto his shoulders, onto his back where his hands fall down, and lets the tears fall. And Oliver cries, too, not as loudly but as violently. As Kara averts her eyes, she can see Novu standing at the wall still, only a few metres away but completely unaffected. He almost looks frozen for the time being.

When Barry finally pulls away, he chuckles, “You were mine first.”

It makes Oliver smile. “I’m glad I was,” he declares and squeezes Barry’s arms once more. “I--” He stops, unsure how to close.

“A last group hug?” Kara proposes finally. It’s what she’s been yearning for the whole time, but only now does it feel right to act on it. If Oliver has sacrificed himself for the two of them, it only makes sense to have this as a trio.

And this time, Oliver gives in. He holds out his arm for her, inviting her in, and holds the two of them close, burying his head in the air between their heads. “I love you guys,” he admits finally; a fact that they’ve known for years but never heard. Too much pride, too much fear of losing anyone, keeping him from saying it and now that they’re about to lose _him_ … He presses a kiss on top of Kara’s head and then one against Barry’s cheek, just for the lack of height difference.

“We love you too,” Barry says and Kara nods. It doesn’t need saying, of course not, not when it’s always been so obvious, when this whole moment stems from nothing but love, but it feels good to let it out. “A lot,” she adds. It makes Oliver chuckle wetly.

They stay like this, just holding onto each other, like they’re memorizing each other’s bodies. Kara doesn’t count the seconds but Oliver’s breaths, Oliver’s movements, Oliver’s soft sighs, Oliver’s hand combing through her hair, until he finally stops. It’s the moment she knows it’s over. He doesn’t need to say it; they both open their grips at his stillness and he steps out of their arms, not looking away.

“I’m ready,” he says, at it almost seems like he’s talking to them. Even though Kara knows he isn’t.

Novu doesn’t step up to them. He doesn’t pull Oliver away but lets him go on his own accord; Kara has to appreciate that despite everything. “You’re a brave man, Oliver Queen,” he says, the judgement uncharacteristic, but she agrees with him. Of course she does. And those words? They make her take in a sharp breath. If he talks like this, maybe he’ll see that there’s no need - no reason - to kill Oliver? Maybe he takes him away; but maybe that isn’t the end.

Oliver doesn’t take these chances. He’s too clever, too much of a realist for that. He nods, still not looking away from the two of them. “Goodbye,” he whispers and steps back, backwards towards Novu.

Novu has made them disappear before either of them can answer, leaving them standing in the alley with one arm slung behind each other’s back and watching into thin air. Completely frozen until suddenly Barry starts vibrating, shaking himself as he starts to hyperventilate.

Kara has him in her arms before she can think about it, sinking down onto the ground with him when she can feel it hit herself as well.

“He’s gone,” Barry breathes. “Oliver… He’s—“

“I know,” Kara shushes him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. He’s always been closer to Oliver, given that they’ve known each other for longer and live on the same Earth. It only makes sense it hits him even harder, as much as it hurts her already. “But at least…” She trails off. At least _what_? At least it was on his terms? At least it didn’t hurt? They don’t know that. For all they know, Novu could have transported him into a lava pit.

“I just— My mom. My dad. Ralph. Eddie. HR. Ronnie. Snart. Frost. Joseph.” Barry lists, his breath getting less steady with every name he says. “And now _Oliver_. I don’t— I cant do this any more.”

“I’m so sorry, Barry,” Kara mutters. She knows how painful it is - losing someone close to you, lose them _for_ you and the greater good. She’s always felt selfish, mourning people when they did this voluntarily - just what Oliver has done - but she knows that it only makes sense. That it’s human. As is the sobs he lets out in return, over and over again, coughing into them, and clutching onto her.

She knows that technically it goes against what Oliver has done, just sitting here and crying after him. He’s done everything in his power (and beyond, _obviously_ beyond) to keep them safe, to make sure they can continue to fight for the world, but that will have to wait. She needs to get it out of her system, _Barry_ needs to get it out of _his_ system; the grief over this loss, over this sacrifice, before they can do _anything_. Unless another apocalypse is upon them, Kara will spend the rest of the day, if not longer, by Barry’s side. They’ll mourn, they’ll celebrate, they’ll swap stories - everything to honour Oliver. His life, his work, his memory. His sacrifice. It’s what he’d have wanted, too.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Please leave a comment!**  
>  If you liked this, come check out my [tumblr](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com) or talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/Ll4MDUNBAR).


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